A life reflection in teens ...

I thought of listing some great people and jot down some great incidences that took place in my life in my teens. These people and incidences add a lot of value to my life. I have a lot of gratitude towards them. 

 Taskeen

Staying on the ground floor of our apartment, she used to stand in the balcony ... Or rather her mother used to make her stand in the balcony ... Just so, she will get some fresh air... She was a one year old child then... Just began babbling ... and standing on her own ... she used to call each passer by .. I mean, just make a babbling happy sound when she used to see someone ... I was one of the passer who she found worth making a babbling happy sound for ... I must be 15 or 16 years old then ... It was not that I had never seen a child before in my life .. But maybe it was the happiness in her sound which drew me closer towards her ...I never could ignore that babbling sound and just pass by her ... On hearing that sound, I used to go close to her balcony .. stand outside and talk to her for a few minutes  .. then I used to be on my way ... these balcony-to-road interactions continued for few months .. she slowly started uttering few words ... her mother soon became aware of me talking to her frequently ...  she taught Taskeen to call me "didi" .. after a few months of interactions Taskeen's mother asked me to come inside the house ... I was so well received with "a cup of tea" ... Taskeen's grand mother also was at home ... I can't forget Taskeen's mother's smile ... which Taskeen  inherited ... I realized that the smile must have a lot of pain behind it ... pain of being away from her husband for a very long duration ... pain of being alone even in crowd ... pain of needs not getting met ... either physical or emotional ... Taskeen's father used to be in Dubai for work ... he used to visit once in a year for a month or so ... Taskeen's elder brother used to play comfortably with other kids in the apartment ... mostly cricket ... or used to ride bicycle ... Taskeen's mother never let her own worries pass on to Taskeen ... she brought up Taskeen very well ... a healthy and happy child ... I soon became very fond of her ... our interactions continued either at her home or in front of the balcony ... days flew ... Taskeen became 4 to 5 year old child ... I was on an "education break" then ... to continue my masters ... I asked Taskeen's mother's permission to take her outside our apartment ... she happily allowed ... Then Taskeen and I went to Vashi-Sea-Shore ... She walked all the way ... even though the distance was a lot for a child ... she never asked me to pick her up ... very understanding child ... Her mother and grandmother used to ask me questions about my schooling ... which school would be better for Taskeen ... how will the commute be ... any extra classes that we need for children's growth etc ... as I grew up more and went for my masters, my interactions with Taskeen reduced ... Taskeen grew up and used to come to our home on the second floor ... most of the time I opened the door for her at my home and played with her for some time... however a couple of times I did not open the door for her when she came ... one reason was, I became busy with my studies and other reason was my interactions with her were not quite appreciated at my home ... since she had an Islamic background ...  These days I am realizing that I could have opened the door for her and asked her to go back to her home ... but at that time even I was not quite adult enough to understand whether a child be able to take a "No" ... Then I got married and moved out of Vashi ... Taskeen was not in my life anymore ... Though she never slipped out of my mind ... 

Dil ki duniya basake savriya (A Hindi Film Song)

One lady among a group of ladies in the train, on the way to go back home, was singing this song. The whole compartment was in "relaxed" mode, since we were all on our way back home. What else can be a more precious prize for her singing, than to let her know that I still remember this song (after more than 25 years !). And along with that, the whole ambiance ! As I wrote about the song, I also listened to it twice, with composer C. Ramchandra and singer Lata Mangeshkar. As usual songs composed by C. Ramchandra has the 'taal" played very well !

payavar paay dene (step on other's feet)

I used to travel by a second class pass by harbor line in my BE. The crowd in the compartment was "all ladies" crowd. It used to be a "dedicated ladies compartment". The ladies were from varied financial and ethical backgrounds. One day two of the ladies got into fight over "why did you step on my foot?". What a trivial issue in the whole croweded train ! But the lady who raised the issue of "stepping on her foot", was herself standing by stepping on MY foot (but I was quiet) ! Isn't that hilarious ! What else can be an ideal example of "self centered" behaviour in the whole ocean of people. Honestly, if you travel by Mumbai train, you will soon realize "how insignificant is our part, in the whole world" ! Sorry, if it all got bit philosophical !

Dalvi Sir while crossing the road

I started crossing the Vashi highway for the Vashi railway station. Dalvi Sir was crossing just beside me and I think he was just one step behind me. I was unaware of his presence, but I think he knew that I was a usual traveller by train. A car came rushing on the highway. Unfortunately the car was at an unusually high speed and I mis-judged the time. Dalvi Sir stopped me just when the car touched me and left. I fell down on the road. Fortunately no big wound. I was just startled by my mis-judgement. I thanked Dalvi Sir. Because it was just a matter of "one more step" for me ! We both went ahead towards the station. On our way, I asked his name and his residence. He told me that he knew I was a usual traveller. Then we parted our ways that day. After a few days, I visited his home to acknowledge to his family, that he has saved my life that day !

Rashmi, on the sea-shore

Sometimes I used to go on Vashi Sea Shore with my sister or sometimes I used to go alone. That was one of the days when I was alone on the sea shore. Vashi has a "creek" actually, it's not "sea" ! But anyway, we all are aware of the fact that we get to see the "creek" in Vashi ! It used to be very clean those days. These days it got all garbage on the shore. We do not feel like spending some time there. But any ways ... in the past, Rashmi met me there on the shore. She asked me "Are you alone here today?". I replied "Do you see anyone over here with me?". I agree ... Rashmi found that reply very RUDE ! She left and after a few days I could hear a complaint registered to my mother "Swati replied rudely to Rashmi!" My mother gave some possible explaination to her mother to handle the matter. Honestly, I did not mean to get so RUDE. But I became "infamous" for my RUDE behaviour and my stupid technical questions in Vashi ! You will NOT find me surrounded by many friends anywhere. And "being surrounded by friends" is considered an ideal behavioral pattern in India. Some students even do "combined studies", in their study life. I could never go for "combined studies pattern" ! As usual, my pattern has been "understand", "do not understand" or "ask questions". I think it is the "combined studies" which might prepare oneself for "debates" or "challenges". But I did not find debates or challenges are of "my types" !

getting a window seat in local

What do we get to see from the window seat in local train? ... First of all you might have to re-format the question, "Would you dare to see outside, from the window seat in local train? OR would you rather NOT prefer the window seat?"... It was a time in early 90's ... India was facing lot of cross-border issues ... including the usual "Kashmir" issue ...keeping just 4 to 5 feet distance from the railway tracks, there was an entire "slum area" parallel to the tracks ... there were rumours/news that many Bangladeshi Infiltrators reside in this  slum area ... there was also rumours/news about many  unemployed people from Uttarpradesh-Bihar were also staying in these slums in search of employment in Mumbai ... people with no basic necessities provided ... because the whole slum area was developed in "unauthorized" way ... people in these slum areas did their "morning routine" outside in open ... sewage water running downstream at many places ... green vegetables grown over this water ... un-treated water ... obviously ... I am NOT writing this in order to humiliate the poor people and the "poverty", the goal is to recognize the situation then, and to analyze how far we have reached since then ... probably for myself ... not for any one else ... "poverty" was so deep-rooted at a "mental" level, that people probably NOT "realize" the state they are in ... common "Mumbai-kar" as the common Mumbai man is called, can be recognized as a "middle-class" person ... "middle-class", in India is a class of people who are NEITHER rich NOR poor ... they are "well educated", love "hard earned money" and believe in "budget" ... the middle-class Mumbai-kar was watching all these slums and the routine of the people ... he/she felt like closing his/her eyes on watching this scene daily ... but he/she was left with no choice ... A common Mumbai man works very hard to fulfil his dreams ... he/she does NOT deserve to see the life he sees through the local train window ... he/she deserves to see beautiful surroundings ... which will help him/her dream more ... but common Mumbai man/woman must be feeling his/her wings cut short to fly ... I did not intend to paint such sad picture of Mumbai ... But yes, we need to accept the truth to ourselves and tell the "truth" to others first ... only then we can measure some progress ... I lived the first quarter of my life in this city ... for some of the Indians, its a "dream city" ... but for me, it is NOT ... very soon, probably at the age of 14 or 15, I realized that Mumbai is NOT FOR ME ... In fact when one of my cousins wanted to see Mumbai, I said "What is there to see in Mumbai, nothing else except slums" ... On top of the slums, there were series of bomb-blasts, gang-wars, water-clogging during rains, haphazard growth of infrastructure and population ... Mumbai became a hell ... tall bridges were constructed to "accomodate" new infrastructure like "mono-rail" ... the bridge passes near the balcony of the common Mumbai-kar ... the Mumbai-kar was forced to hear day and night sounds of vehicles, passing over the bridge ... is Mumbai-kar a sinner? ...  What is the "sin" for which he/she is getting literally punished? ... I doubt whether Mumbai-kar realize the cost of having "no peace" in life? ... 

writing song lyrics, at the back pages of the notebook

I was very happy to get a very good score in the 12th grade... I was very proud to get admission in the second best college in Mumbai, after IIT ... VJTI ... the then Victoria Jubilee Technical Institute ... which is now Veermata Jijabai Technical Institute ... The question is often asked "What is the big deal with 'Name'?" ... Some people on the earth believe that "Name is everything" ... While some people believe that "Name is nothing" ... I am of the opinion that "Name is everything" ...  Personally, I am very proud of Indian history ... India's rich cultural heritage ... The Parsis, the Europeans and the Islamic people came to India and stayed here for almost more than two hundred years ! India was THAT advanced country then ... its a different topic that they had different motives ... But ultimately they all came to India for their own progress/growth ! They definitely did NOT think that India is such a "poor" country, so why to go to India? So in short, I am proud of Indian history and the way I think as an Indian ! Anyways ... I digressed a lot ! ... Let me get on the track ... I got admitted to the second best college in Mumbai ... If I analyze the whole 4 years in VJTI, I enjoyed the "practical sessions" more ... like practicals for drawing, carpentry, micro-processor (8085), computers, seeing the output of circuits with oscilloscope waveforms ... I liked them ... When it comes to the "theory", I could not concentrate a lot ... First thing was, there were 7 to 8 subjects per semister ... and each class was for around 45 min ... I used to concentrate only till the point I understood the class ... The moment I stopped understanding, I used to lose my concentration ... sometimes in the first few minutes itself ... and another factor mattered too ... which is "my mood" ... I agree, its quite annoying and unfair to the faculties ... Not able to concentrate on the class because of "mood" ... somethings I can understand better, like diagrams/figures/images/things which move/things which work ... I always had the habit of taking down "notes", when I understood a point ... but when I stopped understanding, I used to start writing the lyrics of my favourite songs on the back pages of the notebook ... I feel "better equipped" in the modern era, where we can explain things "graphically" ... we can explain "how things work" using videos ... Many Thanks to the advancements in technology ... backtracking to the previous information, accessing ONLY the information we want, book-marking is made easy ... All these things were very difficult in the "textbook" era ! If we take a science and technology journey in the past, we soon realize that technology has come a long way ahead ... And these days technology has a goal to evolve in the direction of human intelligence ... That's a great goal ! In India the government has set up "Atal Labs" in schools, in order to enable the students to experiment with their ideas. "Accessible Labs" is an outstanding idea ! However, in India even people like me hesitate to share their resources with others, for experiments ... So, in that sense I donot know how effective the idea of "Atal Labs" is ...  "Time" is the best judge for it !

Miscellaneous - Some resentments towards myself !

- Not able to gel with the class-mates while working on electronics practicals in groups. It was hard to interact with girls as well as guys both.

- engineering first-year failure and AnilMama's call in the evening. I was very sad ...

- engineering last year, BARC-robotics project. not able to gel with other two guys and classmates. Could not understand what was the expectations from the project-guide about the project. did not have enough "courage" to ask the stupid questions again and again till I understand correctly

- Liked my Digital Electronics (in BE) and DSP (in M. Tech) class, just because I liked my faculty's english speaking accent (and why to lie? They both taught the subject well)

- Always wondered (definitely NOT jealous, but in fact felt respect) to see other classmates are scoring very high. Wondered, where am I lacking in studies? Why I scored less? In fact the other classmates spent lot of time in travelling. They may have gotten less time to study. But they still scored high. 

- why I had so many questions in studies? what made me think that my class-mates can answer the questions? why I asked them questions, why I could not ask the questions to my faculty? why I could not gather the courage to ask the questions to the faculties? After the first year failure, I got under-confidant and discouraged to talk to faculties. But why didn't I open my mouth right in the first year? I had the whole year for me to ask any questions to faculties, isn't it?

Miscellaneous - Some Positives

We moved into a new house when I was 15 or 16 years old ... My sister stated, "How much ever BIG house we get, we prefer to sit in the same room for studies" ... with the radio on ... How precious !